Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The interview continued. Again, distracting my attention, I felt the discomfort of my skirt around my knees. And, again, I tried, with extra caution this time, to discreetly adjust my skirt while looking straight into the face of this strange man's face - the one who held my fate in his hands.
I walked back to my car and thanked God for the interview. Even though I had lost my slip in the reception of a distingquished boarding school, I could feel God's presence with me the whole time. All I could do now was go home and wait.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
As the sonogram technician was scanning my breast, I wastrying to hold back tears, but one slowly fell down my cheek as I lay there staring at the ceiling. I told her that it was the not knowing that was making me nervous. She assured me that I would know the results before I left. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
She left the room to show the doctor the scan results, and while she was out of the room, I tried to stop the tears from flowing down my face. I didn't want her to come back in and know that I was scared - scared for my life, and for the lives of my family. Because, as I lay there, I realized then and there that cancer doesn't just affect the patient, it affects a family. A short time later, she came back in and told me that the doctor didn't need to see me, that everything was fine, and I was free to go home.
As I quickly and bravely walked to my car, I let the tears flow, and I thanked God that I was okay. I was free and I was blessed.
When I got home, I called my daughters and told them. One of them said she was glad for me and that was all that she said. It was then that I realiezed that she was just like I had been a couple of weeks ago. Two weeks ago, I hadn't even thought about cancer. Cancer happens to other people, not me, not my family. But what my daughter didn't realize is that she was glad for us, for our family, because if I had been diagnosed with cancer, it wouldn't have affected just me, it would have affected the whole family.
I hung up the telephone and cried again. This time, because I was happy for us - our family. Because we are a wonderful family made up of wonderful people. I'm lucky I belong to them, and that I can belong with them a bit longer. They mean the world to me!